i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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