it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
