me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
