You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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