Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
