I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
