No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
