Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My balls are so social today.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
