If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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