Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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