11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
