You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
