It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
