Swine flu. Run for my life!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
