So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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