I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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