Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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