I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
