sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
