Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
