doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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