Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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