if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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