I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
