Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
