Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My life is pants optional.
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