Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
