I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
