my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
