the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
