My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
