OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
