Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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