u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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