Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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