That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
