wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have aggressive nipples.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
