i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize