We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
