So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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