nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
