Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize