Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
