Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize