I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
