i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
