I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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