so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
