How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
