it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
