when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
