He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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