this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
