So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
