I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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