I smell stomach acid.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
