i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
