They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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