i think i have two assholes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
