all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize