naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize