Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
