Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I party with great urgency now.
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